So Much Happiness

I don't want this post to be another "yay my life is so exciting, look at my cute kids!" kind of post.  I wish I could really explain to you all my thoughts and feelings.  Life with kids is hard.  I am one who loves children.  I thought I would be a perfect stay at home mom who would love spending my days with kids.  And I do. 

But it is hard. 

I am not a very good stay at home mom.  It makes me crazy most days!  I love my "me" time and often count down the minutes or hours until I get to leave and go do my things (so grateful for a supportive husband who helps a ton so that I can get away sometimes).  I sometimes get really frustrated when the kids whine, or will not take a nap, because they are messing up my "me" time.   I don't like that I act this way so I am working hard to find more joy in the journey.  To not wish my days away, but do things WITH my kids that we can all enjoy.  I need more patience, but we have had more relaxed enjoyable days.  Some of the things that I am trying to do so that I can enjoy my little ones more are...

- go to bed earlier.  That way I don't get frustrated when Jensen wakes me up a few times a night.

-Spend more time as a family.  This one involved me cutting back on my personal activities so that we could all spend more time together.  Less zumba, less piano, less girls nights, and less shopping for more family play time.

-Less online time.  Adalyn hates it when I am on the computer.  Like starts crying the second I walk near it.  Partly I think she is being a little dramatic, because she always wants mommy undivided attention (she crys when I do the dishes too) but she definitely has a point and I try to not go online while she is awake.  Less online time also leads to caring less about what others around me are doing, saying, wearing, etc. and less comparing myself to others.  It is very healthy for me and I could definitely still do better on this one. 

-Do fun activities with them.  We have some fun things on the calendar in the next few months.  I am excited to share these experiences with them.  I think these things will help us all look forward to each day more and help the time while daddy is at work pass faster. :) 

-Work out BEFORE they wake up.  My kids are early risers and I struggle getting up before them.  But this one makes a world of difference in our days and helps me be more productive.  Hopefully I can continue to do this!

-Cutting myself some slack.  I am SO hard on myself and beat myself up if things aren't perfect.  But really no one else cares but me if things aren't perfect.  And the kids think I am the best mom ever if I let them have spaghetti 3 meals in a row.  So I am trying to just let things go and not be so up tight. 

In the end as hard as it can be to sacrifice so much for our children and husbands, it is oh so worth it.  It is amazing how much we can learn about ourselves when we are in the service of others.  And yes my kids are darling and make my day so beautiful EVERY day, even if I don't always appreciate it.

 
 Oh this picture brings me so much happiness!  Adalyn's is like a life size Barbie doll who is as sassy and sweet as ever and Jensen is so happy and they both love their mom to pieces (yes I am very lucky).  So thankful have these two in my life.   

Thanks for reading the ramblings of a stay at home mom!